YOUNG AT HEART ... slightly older in other places ...
BLANK INSIDE
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Heading towards the menapause is a cause for celebration these days ...
Caption inside: .. Just think of all the money those hot flushes will save on haeting bills ... HAVE A HOT BIRTHDAY!
Start each day with a smile ... and get it over with ...
You're amazing, Allan! You've got it so straight and sleek - I barely recognise myself! It feels so light and swingy ... Sometimes it's hell being a woamn ...
Gottcha! That makes it three males and one female ... How on earth can you tell which sex they are? The first three were after my wine and that one was on the phone ...
A drop more wine, Daffy? No thanks, darling - I told you, I'm being good ... I'm limiting myself to only one glass a night ...
Right! Stop! We've all got to pull together! .. work as a team ... and do it MY way ...
I'm glad it's your birthday! I needed an excuse to go on a shopping spree ...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
After one large gin and tonic Dicky is quite charming and amusing .. after two or three he starts becoming a bit of a bore ... and if I have a fourth, I just keel over, fall asleep and snore loudly ...
At our age we should be doing Sudoku puzzles or at the very least a daily dementia check .. apparently, you start at 100 and subtract 7 as many times and as quickly as you can . OK Where's the calculator? ..
THE FOUR AGES OF WOMAN Horses ... Little Horrors ... Hormones ... Horticulture ...
If you want a reply from him, you'll have to talk to him via text or instant messaging ...
Where is this recycling of household waste going to stop? ...
'SAILING: The fine art of getting wet and becoming ill while slowly going nowhere at great expense ...'
THE PLEASURES OF GARDENING ...
..Being pricked by thorny things ...
...being stung by stingy things ...
...Being stuck to by sticky things ...
...Being bitten by buzzy things ...
A woman's life can feel like performing a juggling act whilst rifing a unicycle through a ploughed field ...
BLANK INSIDE: Sometimes we just have to priortise...
It amazes me the lengths to which a man will go to avoid going outside to fetch a ladder ...
It's much quicker if you just pick the ball up and stick it in the hole. There! Can we go for lunch now? ...
WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME
Surely you can't have forgotten which box you packed your husband in ...
You'll have to back up / Why can't you - there's a passing place behind you / I don't do reverse ...
Never too old to ... enjoy childish pranks ...
Never too old to ... jump in a puddle
Never too old to ... slide down the bannisters ...
To my deafness I'm accustomed, To my dentures I'm resigned, I can manage my bifocals, But Oh! How I miss my mind ... (can't remember who wrote this..)
HE DRINKS WINE Admire it ..Swirl it about a bit ..sniff it ..nod knowlingly .. imbibe it loudly .. savour the price of it ..SHE DRINKS WINE Pour it .. swig it .. pour it .. swig it .. pour it .. swig it ..
Do you know what makes you the perfect wife? / It's the fact that you've never forgotten my birthday... / .. and you've never remembered my age ...
I'm not writing a thank you letter for dinner - I'm writing a letter of complaint ...
Laundry power games ...
How on earth do people without horseboxes cope with trips to the bottle bank? ..
When it's good to be the third person in a marriage ...
When one of us dies, I'm going to go and live in the South of France ...
Ah! Slobber - that'll be Dicky back from his trip ... / Welcome home, darling!
IMAGE INSIDE
TRUE LOVE
Do you know-we've been married for over forty years and I've never won an argument... / I know ...
CAPTION INSIDE READS:
...you've never been right
IN TIMES OF STRESS ...
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I cannot accept and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves. Also help me to be careful of the toes I tread on today as they might be connected to the feet I have to kiss tomorrow. Help me always to give 100% .. 12 % on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday ...
CAPTION INSIDE: And help me to remember .. when I'm having a bad day and it seems that people are trying to wind me up .. that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 28 to smile ...
THE FOUR AGES OF MAN Lager .. Aga .. Saga .. Gaga ..
Quiet, Daffy - there's only five minutes of the film left .....whats happened so far? ..
What's the point of all your hard work in the garden if I'm not allowed to sit down and enjoy it ..?
"What do you mean 'get a grip'? Your bum's in my face, you've spilt my gin and my hair's gone frizzy ..."
THE MALE AND FEMALE CHARACTERS He makes coffee ...She makes coffee ...
THE GUEST FROM HELL
Mars and Venus mow the lawn ...
THE WHO'S DRIVING TONIGHT DEBATE
GRANDCHILDREN ... The dream ... The reality ...
"The future's not what it used to be, Dicky ..."
Post and Packing will be added to your bill. 1 card £0.35, 3-5 Cards £1.00, 6-12 Cards £1.75,13-20 cards £2.50, 21-30 Cards £3.50 (UK) overseas at cost Price: £1.75
THE FEMALE CHARACTER The ability to see facts from whichever angle suits her best.
THE PERFECT MARRIAGE / Being supportive ... / dealing with problems together ...
making time to listen to each other ... / keeping active in the bed department ...
"You can't expect me to be in perfect shape yet, I've just had a grandchild ..."
THIS IS A DOUBLE FOLD CARD
Post and Packing will be added to your bill. 1 card £0.35, 3-5 Cards £1.00, 6-12 Cards £1.75,13-20 cards £2.50, 21-30 Cards £3.50 (UK) Overseas at cost Price: £1.95
GOLF CLUB DAFFYNITIONS Interlocking grip, Driver, Pitching wedge, Putter, Texas wedge, A Niblick, A Mashie, Big Bertha, Spoon
IMAGE ON FRONT & BACK OF CARD
CAPTION READS
Just Graduated!
NO CAPTION INSIDE
FASHION DAFFYNITIONS Side zip, ruched blouse, peplum flare, looped pashina, negligee, bootleg, high heels, low slung belt, palazzo pants
Message inside reads: With Best Wishes for Christmas and the New Year
Post and Packing will be added to your bill. £0.80 per pack (UK) £1.50 EU £2.00 Z1 & Z2 Discount for 2 or more packs. Price: £4.25
Message inside reads: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
Post and Packing will be added to your bill. £0.80 per pack (UK) £1.50 EU £2.00 Z1 & Z2 Discount for 2 or more packs. Price: £5.50
Message inside reads: With every good wish for Christmas and the New Year
Large measures 12ins x 16 ins (30cm x 40cm) Small measures 9ins x 7ins (22.5cm x 27.5cm)
Post and Packing will be added to your bill. Large £1.00 per pack, Small £0.70 (UK) - Large £1.95, Small £1.20 EU - Large £2.95, Small £2.00 Z1 & Z2 Discount for 2 or more packs.